Boundaries
The relative whose politics make dinner hard to sit through
Nobody has ever been argued out of a position across a table with the food going cold. What is actually at stake is whether the…
Boundaries
Saying no, expecting less, and the closeness that survives being honest.
20 articles · updated August 11, 2026 · page 2 of 2
Boundaries
The friend who wants your professional skill for free
It arrives as a small favour and is rarely small. The problem is not the hour of work; it is that the arrangement has no defined…
Boundaries
Declining a family obligation costs more than declining a friend
A friend hears a no and adjusts. A family hears a no and files it, discusses it and brings it up at the next gathering. That…
Boundaries
What you owe somebody who helped you when it mattered
A large favour creates a debt that neither person can measure. Left unspoken, it distorts the friendship for years in ways both…
Boundaries
Posting a photograph of a friend without asking first
Everybody has a different threshold and almost nobody states theirs. The result is a steady supply of small breaches that people…
Boundaries
When a friend asks to stay for a few weeks
The request is usually made at a bad moment in their life and answered at a bad moment in yours. Both the yes and the no work…
Boundaries
Leaving a group you no longer want to be part of
Most people exit by attending less and less until nobody expects them. It works, slowly, and it costs more in awkwardness than a…
Boundaries
Saying no to somebody who is in the middle of a crisis
The hardest refusals are the ones where the need is real. Capacity is finite regardless, and the friendships that survive are…