Long Friendships
Friendships that outlast the reason they started
You met through a job, a course, a shared house or a baby group. What determines whether the friendship survives the removal of the…
Long Friendships
Distance, decades and friendships that survive both.
21 articles · updated August 11, 2026 · page 2 of 2
Long Friendships
An old friend carries an outdated model of who you are
The person who has known you for twenty years is working from a version they last updated some time ago. That is both the comfort…
Long Friendships
The real limit on a long friendship is the price of a flight
Affection is rarely what decides whether a distant friendship survives. Fares, annual leave and who has a spare room decide it, and…
Long Friendships
Sending a physical thing does something a message cannot
A postcard, a book or a jar of something local occupies space in a friend's house for weeks. A message occupies a screen for four…
Long Friendships
In every long-distance friendship one person does more of the travelling
It is rarely discussed and almost always true. The imbalance usually has practical causes, and it damages the friendship mainly…
Long Friendships
Missing the funerals and the birthdays is what distance actually costs
The daily contact can be replaced with calls and messages. The occasions cannot, and it is the accumulation of absences that…
Long Friendships
The friend you only ever see in one particular place
Some friendships are tied to a location: a holiday town, a conference, a village you both return to. They are real, and they behave…
Long Friendships
A very old friendship is partly a relationship with your own past
Somebody who has known you for thirty years is holding a record nobody else has. That is a real asset, and it explains why losing…
Long Friendships
The years when you have nothing to report to an old friend
Contact often thins during the flat periods rather than the busy ones. Having no news feels like having no reason to call, which is…